This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
