bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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