Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I checked into jail on foursquare
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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