It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
