The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
