I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
