Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Who died my cat blue again?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
