The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
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She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
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I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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