Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
