I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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