Ambien. No doubt about it.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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