dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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