Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
