I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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