Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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