I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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