Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
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