You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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