She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
