What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
