I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
