New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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