I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
