I should be sponsored by Trojan
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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