she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
