We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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