RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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