He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
