For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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