So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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