So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
