I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
