I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Randomize
