all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
