she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
