we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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