You're a womanizer and a bitch.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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