i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
