at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
