everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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