Its about making memories worth repressing
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
