Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
sex in a hospital.. check
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
