Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
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It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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