Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
