I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
