He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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