Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize