Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
