"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
