when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
