please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
