if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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