i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
