I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
