Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
there is glitter all over my balls
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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