So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
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Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
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its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He shit in the fireplace
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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