Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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