Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
