absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
