I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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