i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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