Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
