I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
